Bitcoin Sucks
Before I’m chewed up by you savages, Bitcoin and cryptocurrency are different things. I don’t hate cryptocurrency; in fact, I think blockchain technology will play a monumental role going forward. But let’s be honest, Bitcoin is factually the worst coin in the top 100. Even Dogecoin (a literal memecoin) is better than it.
My decision to write on the subject may or may not have something to do with the $32 transaction fee I had to pay on my $150 transaction today. Let’s get into it.
How Bitcoin Sucks
“It’s literally the first cryptocurrency, the first trillion-dollar coin; it’s the money of the future; how dare you say it sucks? NGMI"
If I had a week, I couldn’t list all the reasons why Bitcoin is ass.
To save us both time, I’ll highlight the most important three:
1. Fees and Block Times
Let’s face it, Bitcoin can’t be the money of the future because the fees are unbearable.
At this point, Bitcoin isn’t even a currency anymore. It’s an asset. If you tried to use it as actual money, you’d go broke in a heartbeat. Just imagine paying $25 for your food, then getting hit with a $32 transaction fee, or buying a pair of Nikes for $150 and bam, a $32 transaction fee.
There’s no world where we transition from zero-fee transactions to $32 transactions just because Bitcoin is “dECenTraliZed.”
It’s more annoying that no matter how much you spend, you pay the same amount in fees: diamond rings or Papa John’s; you pay the same amount for gas. I may sound cheap, but most crypto-maxis exist in what I call “Web3 reality”. They can’t wrap their heads around the fact that no average person is ever going to be able to use Bitcoin as money because it’s too expensive.
Couple the fees with a 10-minute block time, and it’s as clear as day that Bitcoin (as it is) isn’t a viable alternative to regular currency.
2. Murdering Polar Bears
It’s no news that Bitcoin consumes a lot of energy.
But what’s usually lost is how much. For reference, if Bitcoin were a country, it’d be 27th in energy consumption. That’s ahead of Pakistan, which has 230 million residents.
With no foreseeable consensus mechanism switch, the Bitcoin energy monster will only continue to grow, displacing polar bears as it does. It’s all fun and games until Florida is submerged and it’s 102 degrees during winter.
The reason why this is a bigger issue is that there is a better system than Proof-of-Work. And that brings me to:
3. Bitcoin is not moving forward
Bitcoin is 13 years old, and apart from the big changes in the early days, there’s been almost no new development or any push for it.
Proof of Stake was proposed just 2 years after Bitcoin went live, and till today, Bitcoin is still on Proof of Work with no plans to switch.
No smart-contracts either, so no to everything that comes with them: NFTs, dApps, etc. (There are scripts on Bitcoin but Scripts are “Turing-incomplete”, so they are not as functional as full smart contracts.)
These two issues encapsulate the bigger problem of Bitcoin: stagnancy. All decentralized networks face this problem. Especially when there’s no clear leadership, as is the case with Bitcoin.
Ethereum came much later than Bitcoin but is already transitioning to Proof-of-Stake. The old lady is just sitting there, eating glaciers and polar bears for breakfast. And it doesn’t seem like anything will be done about it.
For these 3 reasons, I’ll say it again: Bitcoin sucks!
For those of you who are saying it’s pivoted to acting as a store of value, I regret to inform you that that wasn’t the original plan. And even at that, it’s debateable at best if Bitcoin actually works but that’s a discussion for another day.
Thanks for coming to my TED roast.
